delayed breakup poem

[feeling a loss of control, I
fall back on my mother’s tendency
to clean and make lists]
..........................spending June on the west coast
..........................escaping you, I replay Honey and the Moon
..........................and remember how you never called me honey
[my mother knows diligence
and anorexia, but I
lack her self-control]
.......................... spending June up north, spinning like snow
.......................... memory on repeat of you brushing your teeth
.......................... never calling me honey
[my mother teaches me
insomnia and to hold on
for the sun]
.......................... spending June in darkness, time moves
.......................... like muted moons, eclipsing me with
.......................... your silence
[one day I find
flowers, my mother’s
favorite medicine]
.......................... leaving for green orange groves down south,
.......................... I forget you and the moon
.......................... and spend June in the sun