50 Titles (of poems I would not write)

protein pills
other natural flavors
not really a doctor
whale watching in the rain
vintage contemporaries
do not install backwards
handbook of knee surgery
rejected thank you notes
a fruit with no name
eaten straight from the box
dishes done
this bag is not a toy
bound by the conditions
nexus point reentry
a tape, not an apple
the end of aquifers
operating manual for a segue
mr. clean goes to france
i've got pop-tarts
Oh, Auden said everything
sponge identity
antisocial radar
fight night at the Lenig's
a man with a glass eye
the house that was not level
a beach with mosquitos
bedpan technician
closed doors mean secret meetings
talking behind your back
hard, modern edges
new dirt
the importance of flossing
sex, interrupted
a fruit much like a beer can
complimentary copy
there are no self-serve gas stations in New Jersey.
a day at the craft fair
LOWERCASE
income tax evasion
a conversation on speakerphone with grandma
peeling second-degree sunburn
a trail of carbon footprints
on conserving electricity
that's just too bad.
the moon in full sunlight
a can opener for poetry soup
conditioned air
landfill at noon
licking letters
not valid with any other offers